May 17 Humor

 * At the breakfast table one morning, my husband was bemoaning his poor record in the stock market. I in turn, was telling him about my latest diet, one of many that I had tried and failed.   “You know honey”, he said looking up from the stock market section of the newspaper, “You’re the only investment I have ever made that doubled.”

 # Two buddies were commenting on their friend Harry’s bad luck at the track. The first one said, “It is funny: you know how lucky Harry is at cards and how unlucky he is on the horses.” His buddy said, “Nothing funny about it, they won’t let Harry shuffle the horses.”

 # The bookie slowly counted the money into the old lady’s hand. He asked, “How did you pick this winner, Lady”?   She said, “I just stick a pin into the paper and whatever horse it lands on I bet”. “Then how did you pick four winners yesterday?”  She replied, “I used a fork.”