May 17th Humor

My little sister’s password for the Disney website is “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto” I asked her why, She said: “They told me to use at least 4 characters, small and large.”

Man to his wife: “I have bad new news and good news.” “Here is the bad news, we owe one hundred thousand dollars in college loans for the kids, a month’s salary in back taxes, and our retirement fund is tanking.” Wife: “What’s the good news?” “Somebody stole our identity.”

If you had purchased $1000 of AIG stock five years ago you would have $42 left. If Lehman brothers, you would have to $6.66 left. With Fannie and Freddie would’ve had less than five dollars left. But if you purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned the cans in for the recycling the aluminum refund you would have $14. Based on this information, my best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It is called your 401keg plan.