May 28 Humor

 * Do you want a boy or girl? A friend asked our five-year-old, Ryan. During my wife’s seventh month of pregnancy. By then Ryan had heard the proverbial answer many times. “We don’t care if it is a boy or girl”, he replied, “just as long as it’s wealthy.”

 * Susan and Frank were having a few people over for the evening and things ran smoothly until Frank’s buddy arrived, bringing along his new girlfriend that clashed mightily with Susan’s style.
After a few minutes Susan asked Frank to come upstairs and help her check on the baby. In the privacy of the baby’s room she gave Frank an earful of all the things about their guest she did not like. In a couple of minutes, when they returned to the party the silence was deafening and they could not figure out what had changed their guests mood. In fact, it was so quiet all the could hear was the occasional stirring of the baby from the infant monitor speaker sitting on the corner table.

 * We had just moved to a lovely, quiet apartment building, but my husband and I were a little concerned to discover that the neighbors all seemed to be elderly. We wondered how they would react to our baby and our large, boisterous sheepdog. My fears were heightened one afternoon when I answered the doorbell to find a frail looking woman leaning on her cane at the front door. Assuming she had come to complain about the babies crying I began to stammer an apology. But she lifted one hand to halt my speech and asked, “I just wanted to know if your dog could come out and play.”