May 4th Humor

* A few of the locals sat on the porch all of the general store when a city slicker came flying up in his convertible sports car, slammed on the brakes raising a cloud of dust and yelled to the folks, “How long is this town been dead?” One of the natives said, “Can’t be too long, you’re the first buzzard we’ve seen.”

# Most of the performers I’ve worked with in television are charming and cooperative. Once during the filming of a cosmetics commercial we were faced with an extremely temperamental celebrity spokeswoman. She arrives on the set with her hair tucked under a bandanna, when no one recognized her, she was highly offended and made sure to let everyone know. “I can’t believe it.” she’d droned on during our lunch break. “They thought I was the script girl or something.” Sitting across from the prima donna was the script girl. “I know exactly how you feel,” the younger woman said. “Sometimes when I’m in a really bad mood people think I’m the actress.”

It’s quite a responsibility for the president to address the U.N. Yesterday he spoke on solar energy. Today he spoke on racism. And tomorrow he talks about how to buy real estate with no money down.