* Four beer company presidents walk into a bar from an industry meeting. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender gives him a Corona. The guy from Budweiser says, “I would like the best beer in the world, give me the King of Beers, a Budweiser”, the bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, “I want the only beer with made with Rocky Mount Spring water,” he gets his Coors. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, “Give me a tea.”  The bartender is a little taken aback but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?” The Guinness president replies, “I thought since you guys were not drinking beer and neither would I.”

* One March day my wife said the house needed painting. “It’s still winter”, I replied. “Forget it”. In April, she told me she had bought some exterior latex, I said, “It was still too cold to paint.” In May, I heard her outside one day yelling for help.  We set up the ladder so she could start painting. I went inside to get a can of beer. As I sat in a lawn chair not far from where my wife was working, a neighbor passed by, “Aren’t you ashamed?” She asked. “How can you sit there drinking a can of beer while your wife is up on a ladder painting the house?” Glancing up at my wife, I responded, “she doesn’t like beer.”

@ The boy scout leader gave instructions to his troops going on a camp out. If you get lost at night let the sky be your guide. Walk towards the glow in the sky that will be the closest shopping center.