* Teaching freshman English at college in New York I have very strict rules about grammar and punctuation. One day as we read the works of the modern poet, a young woman seemed puzzled. “How come he uses capital letters in the middle of the sentence and misspell’s some of the words?”  She asked.  “That’s called poetic license”, I explained. “Oh,” she replied. “How can I apply for one.”

# The patient was in some distress lying in the examination table of the doctor office. “What do you think is the problem, Mr Smith?”  “I don’t think those oysters I ate are agreeing with me.”  The doc asked, “Were they fresh?”   “How would I know if they were fresh?”   “How did they look when you opened the shell?” The patient looked quizzically at the doc and repeated, “Open the shells?”

@ You know technology has passed you by when you have a power outage and nothing you own is blinking.