@ George Burns punctuates the story with a flick of his cigar. A Woman said to me, “Is it true you still go out with young girls?”   I said “Yes it’s true.”  She said “Is it true that you still smoke 15 or 20 cigars a day?”  I said, “Yes, that’s true.” She said, “Is it true that you still take a few drinks every day?”   I said, ” Yes, it’s true”. She asked what does your doctor say about this?”   I said, “he’s dead.”

@ According to George Burns: it’s easier to make a paid audience laugh. They get dressed up and put on a tie and  get in their cars to come and see you. They pay so much that they like you  no matter what you do. The audience that doesn’t pay is very critical.

# When my sister Jenny cooks, she often substitutes ingredients for those in the recipe. I gave her the recipe for chicken and walnut dish that her husband my brother, likes and she served it one night when I was over. In place of walnuts used raw peanuts for the chicken she substituted beef, in fact every major ingredient had been replaced, “This is terrible”. My brother said after his first bite. “Well, don’t blame me”, Ginny retorted. “It’s your sister’s recipe.”