* Washington, DC, is to lying, what Wisconsin is to cheese.

* Do you know the difference between Washington and Las Vegas? In Las Vegas the drunks gamble with their own money.

# There was an elderly San Diego gentlemen that was told by his doctor to lose weight and get more exercise. A friend who knew of the situation discovered him sitting on the beach under an umbrella watching the girls going by.  “Abey you told me you was going to get some more exercise.”  “Vell, that’s right”. “You never gonna get exercise sitting on the beach.”  “That’s where you are wrong Ralph. I come down here every day to watch these girls in their bikinis and I walk three miles each way.”