* One Orlando, Florida, man’s counterfeiting scheme was really bogus because he decided to print several million Polish Zlotys, the total worth of not more than $300. What put their black market operation in the red was the fact the printing equipment  he purchased to counterfeit Zlotys cost him $19,000.

 @ The cable car was already crowded when the very fat woman entered. She stood for a moment glarring at the seated passengers. “Isn’t some gentlemen going to offer me a seat ” she asked?  At this, one exceptionally small man rose. “Well”, he said rather shyly, “I’m willing to make a contribution”.

 # “How do you make an Englishman happy in his old age?”   “Tell him jokes when he is still young”.