* I drive a Ford focus. Want to know how small the Focus is? You know when you come to a parking spot that you think is open, but it’s not, that is a Focus.

 @ A friend parked his car at the super market and as he walked into the store he passed an empty shopping cart. A woman asked, “Excuse me sir, do you want that shopping cart?”  He answered, “No, I don’t. I’m only after one thing.”  She pushed the cart and away and muttered “typical male”.

 # Although I am of Chinese descent, I never really learn to speak Chinese. One evening, I came home boasting about a wonderful meal I’d had in Chinatown. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the name of the restaurant but was able to write the Chinese character that was on the door and show it to my mother. “Do you know what this says?” Mom asked with a smile. It says “pull”.