“Poop train” is moving on.

“Poop train” is moving on.

The mayor of Parrish, Alabama announced that the poop train was finally moving. With about 10 million pounds of human waste from facilities in New York, the odor was epic. The cars were sitting idle for more than two months after a neighboring county went to court to block the train’s passage to a nearby landfill. Townsfolk complained that the smell from the train was making the outdoors unbearable.

“The biggest lesson I learned when I left NYC is not all salads cost $15.”

Since the end of “Stop and Frisk” in New York City, every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end of it with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.

I have six locks on my New York door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

The car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. Same with good manners.