Senior slugger versus the burglar

Senior slugger versus the burglar

When a Florida woman heard a noise and saw a man trying to break into her car early Sunday, she took matters into her own hands. Clarese Gainey, 65, of Gainesville tells WGFL that she picked up her softball bat braced herself and eased open the door before hitting Antonio Mosley. “I took that bat and hit him upside the head, like ‘pi-yah,’ “Gainey said, adding that the 5-foot-6, 300-pound man said, “Ow!” Mosely ran to a nearby mobile home park, leaving behind his pants, shirt, and a sock, police said. A K-9 unit tracked him down.

The prisoner had sent for a lawyer from one of the top firms in town. The first question the lawyer asked the prisoner was “How are you going to pay my fee?” The prisoner replied, “I don’t have any cash, but I have a new Cadillac Escalade I can sell.” “Well that’s fine, what is it you are charged with?” “Stealing a Cadillac Escalade.”

A man sees someone breaking into his shed. He calls police. They say they don’t have anyone available right now. They’ll be there as soon as they can, but it may be two hours. The man hangs up. A few minutes later he calls again and tells them to take their time. He’s pulled out his rifle and shot the man. He’s not going anywhere. Within minutes the place is swarming with police, helicopters, cars, dogs, etc. They find the man breaking into the shed and arrest him. The police go to the man, “I thought you said you shot him!” The man responds “I thought you said you had no one available”

On a very windy day, a police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off. “Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly. “You must think I’m nuts,” said the officer. “You stand here and I’ll get it.”

A 23-year-old contestant from Miami Liberty City won the title of Miss Florida. Her talent was carjacking.