Tennessee farmer Stephanie Nash explains why forcing cows to wear masks and diapers to contain their methane emissions is a really bad idea. French dairy giant Danone announced in mid-January it plans to put masks and diapers on cows to trap their flatulence and burps in an effort to reduce methane emissions by 30% come 2030. Stephanie Nash a Tennessee dairy farmer, called the whole thing udder madness. Stephanie put a mask on one of her cows during the interview to test the theory but explained her test cow is not having it” and is “struggling to breathe.” Livestock, especially cows and cattle, produce methane, a gas that warms the atmosphere, as part of their normal digestive process. New data from the UN claim livestock emissions-manure and gastroenteric releases – account for roughly 30% of methane emissions. Carlson asked if putting a diaper on a cow would even be feasible and wondered if the whole thing was a joke. The Chapel Hill farmer said her cows have to be able to walk around, lay down, eat and drink water and generally live a comfortable life. “Our animals are under the best stewardship, and we want them to be as comfortable as possible. We have to be smart about this. We have to listen to the farmer [or] rancher and what is best for our animals.”
Meanwhile in Britain mad cow King Charles is hailing the ground-breaking Bovine face mask design as “fascinating” at an awards ceremony in London on Wednesday, An innovative face mask for cows, designed to reduce methane emissions and slow down climate change, has won a prestigious design award. Zelp’s methane-reducing cow muzzle. The design, a smart harness for cows, converts methane into carbon dioxide (the main targeted greenhouse gas) and water vapor. A single dairy cow can produce up to 130 gallons of methane per day. And their burps account for 95% of a cow’s methane emissions. There are approximately one billion cattle worldwide. Cows and other farm animals produce about 14% of human-induced climate emissions. Zelp received $63,424 in funding as part of the prize to help further develop the idea.
Johann Huber, a German dairy farmer based in the Alps, has taken to diapering his bovine charges to protest EU legislation banning fertilizer use on steep slopes. Farmers who don’t fall into line could lose their EU subsidies, amounting to thousands of euros a year, and those located in southern Germany are especially vulnerable, as most of the farmland is on mountain sides. Thus the Bavarian brouhaha. “In Bavaria no fertilization would be possible on half the cultivated land, and restrictions would be needed on cows grazing in Alpine pastures.” Let’s get to the actual diapers already. It might shock you to learn no standard cow diapers have not been developed commercially yet. Diapering a cow is a two-person job, and also that the cows are totally not into it. That’s Doris in the diaper at top, looking pretty proud to be saving the environment…Who changes the diapers and what do they do with the excrement? Manure, while fertilizer, is also a great source of methane.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What did the milk coach say to the cows?
“Now get out there and give me 2%!”
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!
January 20th Birthdays
1991 – Ciara Hanna, 1972 – Nikki Haley, 1967 – Kellyanne Conway, 1989 – Dena Kaplan
1987 – Evan Peters, 1930 – Buzz Aldrin, 1970 – Skeet Ulrich, 1956 – Bill Maher