Ticklish moments
College football tailgate parties are everywhere. Some people even travel from house to house to celebrate the big game with all their friends. At every stop they have to have at least: a beer and then some pizza, some chips and a dessert. By the end of the parties many people feel like they were in the game. The combination of the alcohol and the all the diverse food from different cooks can often make Sunday a digestive challenge. Don’t worry, the pharmaceutical companies are here to rescue you, especially to leave your over consumption behind. A new pill that takes a radically different approach to constipation treatment could help you overcome your overindulging. It is not a medicine as you normally think about it, but it does shake up your system and clean out the debris from the weekend. It delivers vibrations that help kickstart the body’s natural processes for getting rid of waste.
Vibrant looks like a pill, but before swallowing (around bedtime each night), it first needs to be activated by inserting it into a smartphone-connected pod (shown here). The pill then makes its way through the body the same way food and other orally consumed medications do, but it isn’t dissolved or broken down by stomach acids. Vibrant capsules are made durable enough to survive even accidental bites. The “pill” delivers relief by making small vibrations in three second intervals (three seconds on, three seconds off) to help stimulate nerve cells that trigger peristalsis: the wave like muscle contractions that push food and waste through the body. After being swallowed, the pill vibrates for about two hours, goes dormant for around six hours, and then vibrates once again for another two hours. It remains completely intact until it exits the body (hopefully along with the blockage causing the constipation), then it’s then flushed away. Unlike most laxatives, Vibrant doesn’t cause side effects like diarrhea; however, a small minority of test subjects were actually able to feel the pill vibrating inside them. But it wasn’t uncomfortable enough to stop them from taking it on a daily basis. Maybe, next party they will have a magic pill for that hangover.
Morning after misery
Constipation is a thief of time,
but diarrhea waits for no man.
Did you hear about the man who accidentally took laxatives instead of his antidepressants?
He felt empty inside.
Why do politicians take laxatives?
So they can speak more fluently.
Thank you for calling the constipation hotline…
Please hold.
November 8th Birthdays
1969 – Parker Posey, 1952 – Christie Hefner, 1988 – Jessica Lowndes, 1949 – Bonnie Lynn Raitt
1884 – Hermann Rorschach, 1922 – Christian Barnard MD, 1931 – Morley Safer, 1966 – Gordon Ramsay