Criminals don’t get no respect

Christopher Spaulding from Georgia was offended and disappointed. He had been an outstanding man in his neighborhood and the government was overlooking him. In fact they had promoted four others ahead of him. Naturally he went to Facebook to complain. You can understand his frustration when the Rockdale County Sheriff’s Office left Chris off the “Most Wanted List.” His message was short and pithy. “How about me?” Spaulding asked. The department was happy to reply on Thursday, saying, “You are correct you have two warrants, we are on the way.” 

The disrespect has gotten so bad that Snoop Dogg is slated to star in two upcoming series on NBC Universal’s streaming service Peacock,. The 49-year-old rapper-entrepreneur is set to host a series about the world’s dumbest criminals. Deadline reported that Hart called Snoop “the man, the myth and the legend” during his presentation, before sharing that his Laugh Out Loud Network is “working on some more hilarious content that will be coming to you soon.”

Chicago may have a crime problem, but the perps are not dumb. In fact, over the weekend there was an All-Points-Bulletin out about a gang of reported 4 or 5 that had committed 13 robberies in 5 hours using at least three different cars between 2 and 5 am. This could not be done by dumb criminals. Even if they went to Chicago public schools, these fellows were creative and calculating. No one on was injured in any of the incidents. All the guys wore black hoodies, wore black surgical masks and the rotated the robbers to make prosecution harder.

The folks “down under” may not be as sophisticated, but they know here the money is and they are forthright acting. One the Blokes had a plan and stole a truck to carry his tools to the scene of his riches. Attached to the back of the truck were 2 heavy chains. In the truck’s bed he brought a big brick to break the window and a big hammer to open the door. The goal was to wrap his chains around an ATM in the deli on a side street and pull it out with the truck. Part A went well, he broke in, pulled the chain in through the broken door and wrapped it around the Cash machine. Satisfied with himself he picked his hammer up off the street, not noticing that his two chains had come unhooked and drove of waiting for the terrible bang. There was no bang and no bouncing ATM in the rear-view mirror.  Our scholar realized what had happened and went back to the store to do it right the second time. As he dragged the truck chain towards the store door again, he realized there was not enough chain to make the connection and realistically pull the ATM out. He drove off in disgust. But his almost heist is immortalized in this video.

An Irish car thief was looking for a safe score in the back alley behind some stores and pubs. He found a nice looking white Mercedes and could almost count the money he would get from the resale. He picked a rock and tried to break the passenger window of the car, but the rock just bounced off. Nearby he found an abandoned brick and got really close to the driver’s side window and threw the brick really, really hard. As he momentarily watched his handiwork the brick bounced off the car and hit him in the face, knocking him out. Ironically, when the pub closed, the owner came out the back to find his car scratched up and Jerry lying in the street unconscious with a bloody face. The police did clean him up. Watch the sad story unfold:

Crime ain’t what it used to be

What’s the difference between Smart Criminals and Dumb Criminals?
Dumb Criminals break laws.
Smart Criminals make laws.

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat, to round, to crooked.

These days, the problem with many neighborhoods is that there are more hoods than neighbors!

After spending twenty-two years surrounded by criminals, I finally saw the light of day again.
I’m so glad I left my job at the Democratic Party.

December 6th Birthdays

1969 – Macy Gray, 1962 – Janine Turner, 1996 – Stefanie Scott, 1986 – Dulce Maria

1977 – Kevin Cash, 1896 – Ira Gershwin, 1956 – Craig Newmark, 1955 – Steven Wright

Morning Motivator:

Will you look back on life and say, “I wish I had,” or “I’m glad I did?”