Old England even jollier
How boring is life in the UK? Even the sea gulls are stoning out. It seems that too much exposure to humans especially, young humans on vacation or recreating has led to both addicted and even hopelessly dead sea gulls. Particularly on the ocean beaches, folks have been known to want to relax not just with the sound of the waves caressing the shore but with a marijuana substitute nicknamed “spice.” This drug is legal in Britain. Spice, also known as “K2,” is a kind of synthetic marijuana that is meant to mimic THC, which is one of the main psychoactive ingredients in marijuana. Spice, among humans, can induce a range of effects, including euphoria, talkativeness, paranoia, nausea, and mood swings. Whether inhaled or ingested, the drug can lead to an elevated heart rate and blood pressure, according to the DEA, and it can even cause seizures, tremors, hallucinations, and anxiety. In some extreme cases, the drug’s sedative properties are so potent that users have even been compared to zombies.
Seagulls have for years been attacking beachgoers lunches and unguarded picnic baskets and the debris they sadly leave behind. In the UK, they have apparently been swooping down to snatch public drug users’ stashes of “spice”—synthetic cannabinoids that mimic the effects of marijuana. “Gulls think they’re getting chips, but they’re just getting a beakful of spice,” one stoner citizen reported. After one such incident in Wrexham, locals reportedly said that one of the birds ‘went mad’ after taking someone’s supply of the drug, dive-bombing pedestrians before eventually coming to collapse on the pavement. According to multiple reports, incidents of seagulls snatching drug stashes from users have been documented in various locations. “A seagull and spice is not a good combo. It turns them into psycho gulls,” a former spice user told Metro. British locals reported a seagull went into a frenzy after snatching someone’s drug supply. “Gulls will go for anything. They used to come up behind us and grab whatever we had,” a former spice user said: “If we were stoned and completely unaware, the gulls could just take the joint we were smoking and fly off.” The dive-bombing gull allegations have been made from resorts in Hastings, East Sussex, and even in cities including London, Leeds, Manchester and Liverpool. If the zombie apocalypse is getting sea gulls, what is it doing to the humans?
Beach blunders
If you smoke seaweed on the beach…
do you experience high tide?
I got excited when I found a bottle in the beach with a message inside…
Which read: “You have no new messages.”
Probably the worst thing you can hear when you’re wearing a bikini is “Good for you!”
A gorgeous woman waved to me at the beach yesterday.
But there was no way I was swimming out that far, to talk to her.
At the beach house, we had a major problem with sea birds. I started throwing rocks at them.
I left no Tern unstoned.
May 24th Birthdays
1990 – Brianne Howey, 1944 – Patti LaBelle, 1945 – Priscilla Presley, 1955 – Roseann Cash
1994 – Bobby Lockwood, 1941 – Bob Dylan, 1966 – John C. Reilly, 1974 – Ken Jennings