The Florida Man Games
They rose up by the dozens from the swaps across Florida, caricatured competitors in tank tops and cutoff shorts, for a showdown that treats evading police and wrestling over beer. The Florida Man Games have began in St. Augustine this weekend, promising to showcase the one-of-a-kind, tongue-in-cheek, talents that nearly every Floridian has mastered. Promoted as “the most insane athletic showdown on Earth,” the Florida Man Games poke fun at the state’s reputation for bizarre stories that involve brawling, drinking, gunfire, reptile wrangling and other antics carrying a risk of time in jail or intensive care. The games kicked off Saturday with the “Star Spangled Banner” played on electric guitar. Then spectators sipping canned beers behind metal barricades cheered and frequently shouted expletives as a dozen teams battled in contests inspired by real events from America’s most surreal state. The Florida Man Games will benefit the Jimmy Jam Community Outreach, a nonprofit that helps local residents in need.
James Gordon of DeLand won the first event, wolfing down a plate loaded with barbecue pork and sausage a fraction of a second before his nearest competitor. He chugged a beer to celebrate. Gordon said after washing sauce from his hands and beard. “They’re calling these ‘events.’ I’m calling this (expletive) Tuesday afternoon.”
One event had contenders dueling in muddy water in an inflatable pool, pummeling each other with weapons made from pool noodles and duct tape. Another was a theft-simulation relay in which competitors raced while toting a pair of bicycles, copper pipes and catalytic converters.
Larry Donnelly trained for the relay race by riding a bicycle around his neighborhood with a second bike strapped to his back. It paid off Saturday, when he won his heat after picking up a bike in each hand and running with them.
Other events involved contenders wrestling sumo-style while holding pitchers of beer, or running from actual sheriff’s deputies while jumping fences and avoiding obstacles. Others faced a scramble to grab cash flying in simulated hurricane winds.
The “Florida Man” phenomenon seeped into the nation’s conscience thanks in part to a Twitter account that started in 2013 with the handle FloridaMan. The account touted “real-life stories of the world’s worst superhero,” sharing news headlines such as “Florida Man Bites Dog to ‘Establish Dominance”’ and “Florida Man Tried to Pay for McDonald’s With Weed.” Florida’s claim to being the strangest state goes back much further, said journalist Craig Pittman, who wrote the book “Oh, Florida! How America’s Weirdest State Influences the Rest of the Country.” He noted that the first flag to fly over its Capitol in 1845 bore the motto “Let Us Alone.”
BTW: I heartily recommend the article linked below which is laugh-out-loud hilariously written.
Florida Funnies
COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end.
The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly…
The further north you go the more southern it gets.
The new health care bill will now cover getting hit by a random golf ball while in Florida.
Florida Retirement Community…
A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.
A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, the woman asks, “Are you a stranger here?”
He replies, “I lived here years ago.”
“So, where were you all these years?”
“In prison,” he says.
“Why did they put you in prison?”
He looked at her and very quietly said, “I killed my wife.”
“Oh!” exclaimed the woman. “So you’re single?!”
February 26th Birthdays
1993 – Taylor Dooley, 1986 – Theresa Palmer, 1985 – Baran Saat, 1966 – Jennifer Grant
1932 – Johnny Cash, 1846 – Buffalo Bill, 1953 – Michael Bolton, 1928 – Fats Domino