Sign of the times

A resourceful woman turned the rooftop sign of a Family Fare grocery store into her home for nearly a year. The surprising discovery was made by a contractor who spotted an extension cord leading to the sign structure. The 34-year-old woman, who wished to remain anonymous, had transformed the space behind the sign into a comfortable haven. Police were unsure how she accessed the small space, but they found flooring, a mini desk, and even appliances like a coffee maker and computer inside. Remarkably, the woman had managed to tap into the store’s electricity for power. “There was some flooring that was laid down. A mini desk, her clothing. A Keurig coffee maker. A printer and a computer — things you’d have in your home.”  Despite having a job, she opted for this unconventional living situation. After being discovered, the woman agreed to leave the premises, and no charges were filed.

Contractors had seen an extension cord leading from one of the rooftop outlets to this particular sign where she had been living,” according to officer Warren. The Family Fare sign the woman was living in “isn’t a normal sign” and not like ones seen “on the side of Target or Walmart,” Warren said. There’s a 10 to 15-foot hollow peak at the top of the supermarket’s roof where the sign is placed inside, and a 3 by 4-foot access door behind the sign, according to the officer. “Definitely big enough to kind of get into,” Warren said. Other tenants of the commercial strip said they had seen the woman wandering the property dressed in black like a ninja. They theorize she climbed onto the roof using the electrical conduit that fed the lighting and refrigeration units.

The officer who found the woman, Brennon Warren, offered her information on local homeless shelters, but she politely declined. Family Fare’s parent company, Spartan Nash, expressed their compassion for the situation and highlighted the wider issue of affordable housing. She left of her own will and had not been heard from since.

Homey Humor

A starving college student was trying to talk his impatient landlord into waiting for the rent. “In a few years,” he said, “other students will point to this college apartment and say, Mike Smith once lived there.’” “If I don’t get my rent tonight,” said the landlord, “they’ll be able to say it tomorrow.”

After calling 5 different home security companies…
I’ve decided it’s cheaper to get robbed.

My neighbor sells home security systems door to door. He’s pretty good at it too.
If nobody’s home, he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table.

I came home and found that my wife has been on Ebay the whole day.
If she’s still on there tomorrow, I’d have to lower the price.

May 15th Birthdays

1968 – Madhuri Dixon, 1981 – Jamie-Lynn Sigler, 1982 – Alexandra Breckenridge, 1972 – Sarah Hadland

1955 – Lee Horsley, 1937 – Trini Lopez,  1947 – George Lucas, 1969 – Emmitt Smith

Morning Motivator: