Terrifically Tough Tanzanian
Could there be something medically wrong with you even if you never knew it? For instance, you could carry and spread COVID-19 virus without having a single symptom. That’s what a man from Tanzania did. He sought medical attention after his nipple became sore and quite obviously infected. Our hero is a 44-year-old man from Tanzania. His case began innocently enough with his right nipple. One day, he woke up to it being strangely tender and sore. Over the next 10 days, things got worse. A hole opened up under his nipple and began leaking foul-smelling pus. Our man decided it was high time to see a doctor. The doctors were concerned, but they couldn’t immediately see anything obviously wrong with the guy. His vital signs were perfectly normal, and he said he didn’t have any pain, fever, or difficulty breathing. That said, the hospital staff noticed that as the man breathed, the right side of his chest didn’t expand as much as the left. Considering the infected nipple was on the right as well, they got suspicious and decided to give the man a chest X-ray.
Naturally, the doctors were flabbergasted and asked the man if he had any idea why he was walking around with a knife inside his body. He was initially equally confused, but then it all started to make sense. The man told the doctors that he had been a victim of a knife attack eight years ago. He’d received several cuts and stabs to his face, back, and chest. He had received emergency care, and his wounds had been sutured. Considering his injuries had healed fine and the man hadn’t felt off in any way, nobody had seen need for further examinations. These new X-rays, however, showed that one of his cuts had been deeper than anyone would’ve guessed. An attacked had stabbed the man right through the right scapula and the blade of the knife had dislodged inside his chest. Miraculously, the blade had missed all organs, bones, and major veins. As the man’s wounds healed, his body swallowed the knife, and he lived as if it wasn’t there for all those years.
Of course, the knife didn’t belong in his body, and eventually the surrounding tissue began to die. This, in turn, caused an infection, which resulted in the man’s sore, pus-leaking nipple. During a long and meticulous operation, they slowly pulled the knife out, being careful not to accidentally slice the man’s lungs open with it. Luckily for our guy, the operation was a complete success. After 24 hours in critical care observation, he was deemed infection-free, and stable enough to be moved to a regular hospital bed. One an additional uneventful 10 days had passed, the man was discharged and he went home. His follow-up checks two and six weeks later showed that he was recovering well and enjoying his now knife-less life.
This is where it hurts:
The hospital patient was worried, “Are you sure it’s pneumonia, Doctor?” He asked. “I’ve heard of cases where doctor treated a patient for pneumonia, and he ended up dying of something else.”
“Don’t worry”, said the doctor. “When I treat a patient for pneumonia he dies of pneumonia.”
A policeman at the scene of a car accident was helping one of the drivers out of a damaged car and asked, “Are you seriously hurt”?
“How should I know? The driver responded, “I’m a doctor, not a lawyer.”
If you ever get in a knife fight with a group of clowns,
Go for the juggler.
The doctor said to his patient: “Congratulations Mister Figby,
I have just checked over your records and the insurance company says you are well.”
August 18th Birthdays
1995 – Madeline Petch, 1987 – Joanna Jędrzejczyk, 1958 – Madeline Stowe, 1993 – Maia Mitchell
1969 – Christian Slater, 1952 – Patrick Swayze, 1934 – Roberto Clemente, 1937 – Robert Redford