Don’t mess with Florida
The Cape Coral Florida Police Department responded to a home early Wednesday when they were caught off guard upon realizing someone else had beat them to it. Kyle Myvett told detectives he had gone to bed when his home security system alerted him to someone breaking into his vehicle. Kyle, in his Batman PJs, went to investigate and saw a man rummaging through his truck. Then the real-life Dark Knight then followed the suspect into his neighbor’s garage “and detained him until officers arrived,” according to the post. Batman told WSAZ that it was his wife who “noticed an alert on the phone.” That’s when — Wham! Bam! Pow! — he leapt into action. When he reached the suspect, Myvett recounted, “I grabbed a hold of their shirt and their right wrist, and I said, ‘Listen, don’t try to get away.’” Police identified the burglar as 20-year-old Justin Schimpl, who is known to authorities “from prior investigations.”
Police determined Schimpl had broken into multiple vehicles, including Myvett’s, and stole designer sunglasses, a wallet and more than $500 worth of gift cards. “This is a crime of opportunity,” Cape Coral Police spokesperson Lisa Greenberg said of people not locking up their vehicles. Myvett admitted that he did leave his truck unlocked because his neighborhood is usually pretty calm. Batman told the press, “I don’t have a Superman pajama because if you’re impervious and invincible, you’re not really brave.” Schimpl, who is facing multiple burglary charges, was taken to Lee County Jail following his arrest. “Thanks to this quick-thinking Batman neighbor, another burglary suspect was put behind bars.”
But wait! There is more
Police toldClick Orlando that they spotted a stolen Subaru SUV on August 6th and gave chase. The driver reportedly made it to Brevard County, where she crashed into a stop sign and slid into a ditch. After coming to a stop, the driver and her female accomplice fled the car. One of the women hid in some nearby bushes, while the other made a run for it in an adjacent pasture—big mistake. Using night vision, the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office helicopter team was able to track her through the cow pasture where she ran, quite literally, into a herd of law-abiding cattle. As helicopter police watched from above as 20 angry cows corralled the invader.
Ultimately, thanks to the herd, the thief was arrested. But that’s not where this story ends. The next day, the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office shared aerial footage (below) of the suspect being pursued by the angry bovines, complete with audio, on social media. Unsurprisingly, it has since gone viral. Richard Kondracki, the owner of the pasture, told Click Orlando that in all the decades he’s been keeping cows on his property, he’s never once seen them act aggressively towards a human. “They panicked. The cows were nervous. That would make me panic — if all those big cows come running at you. They didn’t know them. They don’t know if they’re there to hurt them, or steal one of the babies.” “You don’t want to mess with it — any animal, whether it’s a cow, an elephant or a cat. You don’t mess with the babies,” Kondracki said. The next time the police in Sanford are on the pursuit of a fugitive, no need to sound the alarm, just ring the cowbell.
Vigilante victories
During a police lineup the detective told each man to step forward and repeat the threat given at the robbery, “give me all your money or I’ll shoot.” One man stepped out of line and yelled, “that’s not what I said.”
A woman in our town to the police department, “People are speeding on our street. Endangering the lives of children walking to school.” The next morning she herself was stopped for speeding. “But, officer,” she said, “I’m the person called yesterday to tell the police about the speeders.” “Well then, ma’am,” he replied handing her a ticket, “you should be really happy we caught one.”
Play a real-life version of ‘Grand Theft Auto’
By spending the day in Baltimore.
Wending his way through the office cubicles my son Mike spotted one of his employees playing a video game on the computer. “Why aren’t you working?” Mike asked him.
The employee had an excellent excuse: “I didn’t see you coming.”
September 19th Birthdays
1941 – Cass Elliott, 1986 – Song jum-ki, 1965 – Sunita Williams, 1949 – Twiggy
1933 – David McCallum, 1948 – Jeremy Irons, 1980 – John Paul Green, 1969 – Michael Symon