* The tragedy of Canada is that they had the opportunity to have French cuisine with, British culture, and American technology; instead they ended up with British cuisine, American culture and French technology.

@ An EBglish young man visited his local welfare office and was told to only give his surname and the clerk bragged all other details would be on the computer. The clerk typed in his name, then read from the screen saying, “You are James, Herbert Roberts of Oldfield Lane., London, age 22, single, unemployed for one year, now working as a plumber for Jones and company.  It’s all here every last detail of your life. What is your question?”  “Well, that is wonderful that you know everything about me on your computer,” said the man. “I have a question about the widow’s pension you keep sending me.”

@ A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports, and enjoys group activities. Back came the answer: “Marry a Penguin.”