*I went to the ballet and saw all these girls dancing on their tip toes. Why don’t they just get taller girls?

# As a college professor, my husband has published several books. When he finished his latest book, I stopped at the supermarket to get some treats and bought some ice cream and champagne. As the clerk bagged my purchases she asked, “Celebrating something?”   “Yes,” I replied, “My husband just finished a book.”  The young lady thought for a moment and asked, “Is he a slow reader?”

% There is a lot going on in Las Vegas. I saw a great heavyweight fight last night, two women at the buffet table fighting over a glazed ham.