* The teacher took her class to the zoo. They stopped before the lion’s cage as he decided to stretch and let go a mighty roar. One of the boy’s asked, “Miss Smith, you see that big mouth on the lion? If the lion would eat you up, what bus should we get on to get back to school without you?”

* Teacher (pointing to a deer in the zoo): Johnny: “What is that”?   Johnny: “I don’t know”  . Teacher, “What does your mother call your father at home?”   Johnny: “Don’t tell me that’s a louse”.

# Hall of fame pitcher Lefty Gomez was not a very good hitter. When asked if he  ever had broken a bat he replied, “Only one time, when I ran over it backing out of the garage.”