* There were two flags flying outside a San Diego press conference to announce the coming of the Moscow Circus. The tag on the Russian flag said “Made in the USA”. The tag on the American flag said “Made in China.”

* Sign at the edge of town. “You are now leaving Los Angeles county. Resume normal breathing.”

* The new school had a new flagpole and to create an event they asked for a marine color guard to appear and hoist the flag for the first time.

The school secretary asked for the squad and then asked the commanding officer if the marines liked little children. The officer replied, “Ma’am, if I tell them to, they will like children.”