Being my own bank

A Wewahitchka, FL man walked into a car dealership in Okaloosa County and left in a Porsche after paying with a check printed from his home computer, authorities say. Casey William Kelley, 42, was arrested Wednesday for grand theft of a motor vehicle and uttering a false banknote. He also tried to buy Rolex watches with a bad check, according to an arrest report from the Walton County Sheriff’s Office. During the investigation it was determined Kelley had purchased a Porsche 911 Turbo from a Porsche dealership in Destin by using a fraudulent check written for $139,203.05 on Monday, July 27. The Porsche was reported stolen to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office. The next day, Kelley presented a check in the amount of $61,521 to a jeweler in Miramar Beach in an attempt to purchase three Rolex watches, the report said.

Automatic Delivery

A cop stopped a guy for speeding…

Cop said: “Do you know how fast you were going?”
The guy replied: “I was trying to keep up with traffic”
The cop said: “But there is no traffic”
And the guy answered: “That’s how far behind I am”

A passenger in a taxi was freaking out because the driver was going way past the speed limit and taking sharp turns, barely missing cars in traffic and almost running three red lights. “Just close your eyes” The driver said.

“Trust me it helps, that’s what I do.”

A drunk man boards a subway and sits next to a priest. The priest is disgusted to see his miserable condition and says, “You are going to hell”. The drunk guy looks up frightened and says, “damn I got on the wrong train.”

November 22nd Birthdays

1958 – Jamie Lee Curtis, 1961 – Muriel Hemingway, Scarlett Johansson, 1996 – Katherine McNamara

1958 –  Mark Ruffalo, 1978 –  Joe Nieves ,  1989 – Jamie Campbell Bower, 1989 – Alden Ehrenreich

Wanna buy a car quick?