Police Efficiency
Randy Lee Cooper needed a car. He didn’t have the money for even cab fare, but he was drunk and needed a car. So he did what everybody does, he found an open Toyota Land Cruiser and started driving. The owner of the SUV did not feel that generous, so they called police. Within a few minutes the police in the town of Newberg spotted the stolen car and lit him up. Randy took off. The police gave chase through the suburban downtown and out towards the country. The pursuit lasted a few blocks and Randy probably thought he was a better driver than he turned out to be. In fact, he crashed a red light and plowed into a Buick Regal going through the intersection and put the Toyota into a pole. The chase was over, the police pulled him out of the stolen car and cuffed him. They then checked on the woman driver that he hit. The driver of that car, Kristin Nicole Begue, was also found to be under the influence. But wait there is more…Kristin was also driving a stolen car. It was a great day for police efficiency (except for the smashed cars). They got two stolen cars and two drunks in jail in one trip.
I am a very good driver, Hic!
Two drunks meet on the street
One says, “Please allow me to pass between you”
The other replies, “Alright, just please do it one at a time.”
Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.
A guy in a bar asks for four shots of whiskey and drinks them.
Then asks for three shots… Then asks for two… Then one.
And then he gets really drunk, turns to the bartender and says, “I’ve noticed that the less I drink the more I get drunk.”
We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
November 22nd Birthdays
1958 – Jamie Lee Curtis, 1961 – Muriel Hemingway, Scarlett Johansson, 1996 – Katherine McNamara
1958 – Mark Ruffalo, 1978 – Joe Nieves , 1989 – Jamie Campbell Bower, 1989 – Alden Ehrenreich
Morning Motivator:
If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.