Standing up for your reputation
Gricelda Perez worked for the Ontario California police. She went down the street to the AM/PM store near the police station. She wandered around looking for a munch. She picked up a $2.99 RX Bar, read the wrapper and according to her put it back. Both she and the store owner agree that she then bought a package of string cheese and a cup of coffee and left the store. The owner believed they had been robbed, but instead of stopping her or calling the police went to the police station and reported “the crime.” They searched her purse and her car and found the cheese wrapper and the receipt but no evidence of the alleged protein bar. Undeterred, the owner enlisted a detective and another police employee to watch his grainy surveillance video. These two convinced the prosecutor and the trial was on to get rid of this “dastardly” employee who refused to confess. The city hired a video expert as a witness and he said the video was too soft to show any theft. The AM/PM owner had friends on the city council and they voted to prosecute Perez anyway. It took 3 years, but a San Bernardino County Superior Court judge, after weighing the evidence, found that the theft had not been proven and ordered the City Council to abide by the arbitrator’s decision. Perez was not guilty. The police arbitrator found that there was no cause to fire Perez and ordered the city to reinstate her with back pay. Cost to the taxpayer nearly $134,000.
Here is the evidence
“You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
“If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness.
Coroner to Witness: “The collision occurred at the junction of High Street and Church Road; how far away were you?”
Witness: “54 yards, 2 feet, 6 inches.”
Coroner: “You are very precise. Did you measure it?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Coroner: “Why?”
Witness: “I knew some idiot would ask me.”
A trial for murder is being held and all the evidence indicates that the defendant is guilty, but the body has never been found. Just before the sentence is concluded his astute lawyer stands up and says: “ladies and gentlemen, the deceased will enter the room in the next minute.”
There is a sudden commotion and the courtroom was deadly silent. A few minutes pass
then some more and no one has entered the room.
After another couple of minutes the juries leave the room in order to make a decision.
When they return the judge asks if they have come to a decision.
“Yes your honor, we have found the defendant- guilty of murder.”
The defendant’s lawyer immediately rises up and shouts towards them: “How dare you convict my client? Just a couple of minutes earlier, I told you that the deceased would enter the room and you all looked towards the door! That proves that you had a reasonable doubt!”.
“We would have acquitted, but your client never looked towards the door.”
Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.
Yes. It’s true. Current events have made the Earth less attractive.
February 7th Birthdays
1980 – Cerina Vincent, 1995 – Xenia Goodwin, 1991 – Rachel Sibner
1964 – Nicolas Cage, 1966 – Chris Rock, 1962 – Garth Brooks, 1978 – Ashton Kutcher