December 9 Humor

* My neighborhood was so tough: We had criminals attacking people with chewed off shotguns. The school newspaper had an obituary column.

# Our high school held a charity auction, and the students made various donations. One girl offered to clean the house of the highest bidder. I was amazed at the steep price one woman paid to win the service. Asked why she had paid so much, the woman replied, “It’s worth it just to see my daughter actually cleaning the house.”

* I was reading the paper before supper and when we sat down to eat I told my wife that I had read something interesting in the newspaper. “That most car accidents happen within 5 miles of home.”   She stopped, cocked her head in thought and asked, “Do you think we should move?”