February 21 Humor

A woman’s perfect breakfast: she sits at the table with her warm Gourmet coffee in hand. her son is on the front of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. Her husband is on the back of a milk carton.

Two women were taking their morning break and talked about trying to lose weight. As they got into it, one pulled a giant donut from her purse.   “Is that allowed on your diet?” the first woman  asked.   “It’s OK on my second diet,” the eater replied.   “You mean you are on two diets? I don’t get it.”    “I had to change, the first diet did not give me enough to eat.”

Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper during breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. “I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”  His wife replied, “Why thank you, dear!”