Americans in Paris
A man sneaked into the Eiffel Tower shortly after 5 am last week well before the Paris tourist landmark’s official opening. He evaded the regular security and made his way to the stairs when a guard saw him and started shouting at him. The guards gave feeble chase according to the site’s operator “Sete,” but he still managed to get to the top before anybody could stop him, carrying a parachute in a backpack. The guards could not keep up with the “tourist.” Once the interloper got near the top of the 1100-foot-tall structure he climbed over a railing and jumped. The video below demonstrates this event was made for international consumption as our hero deployed his chute and then did some tricks as he floated on the breeze while guards yelled at him from the ground. They tracked him to the roof of a stadium a ways away from the downtown attraction and he was arrested. The Eiffel Tower is the French capital’s top tourist spot, attracting 5.9 million visitors in 2022. The tower’s opening, usually at 9:00 am, was slightly delayed.
Last week, the Eiffel Tower was evacuated twice on the same day following hoax bomb alerts. And on Monday, two inebriated American tourists were found sleeping off a heavy night in the heights of the tower, having dodged security the night before. Security guards making their morning rounds at the Eiffel Tower were surprised to find two American tourists who apparently slept off a night of drinking inside the iconic French landmark. The inebriated men were roused by the guards, who discovered the slumbering Americans before the Paris landmark opened to the public on Monday morning, according to reports. The men had apparently been so drunk that they became trapped in a spot off-limits to the public between the tower’s second and third levels and couldn’t get out. Guards arrested the more sober men in the morning. The local judge let them off with a warning since they did not harm anything.
This incident is the latest example of tourists misbehaving at famous landmarks around the world. This week, a video taken of a tourist climbing across Rome’s Trevi Fountain to fill her water bottle went viral, sparking the internet’s outrage. Considered a late Baroque masterpiece, the historic site is one of Rome’s most revered symbols… And in June, an English tourist was filmed carving a note into the Colosseum in Rome. The man, later identified as 27-year-old Ivan Danailov Dimitrov, apologized for his actions in a letter claiming that “he was unaware of how ancient the 2,000-year-old amphitheater was” when he defaced it. At least this one was not American.
Tourist trauma
An American tourist in Australia got hit by a car.
He woke up in a hospital with a doctor standing over him.
He asked the doctor, “Did I come here to die?”
The doctor replied, “Nah, mate, you came here yesterday.”
What do you call a fat person in Europe?
An American tourist.
An American couple were visiting Germany and stopped into a little gift shop to look around. The woman sneezed and the proprietor said, “Gesundheit”. “The tourist said to her husband, “We are in luck, it looks like they speak English in here.”
Two American tourists in Saskatchewan are arguing about the correct pronunciation of the town’s name, so when they stop for a burger, the one asks the cashier, “Can you please tell us where we are, but say it slowly and clearly?”
The cashier says “B-u-r-g-e-r … K-i-n-g”
August 23rd Birthdays
1960 – Helen Rees, 1982 – Natalie Coughlin, 1977 – Nicole Bobeck, 1949 – Shelly Long
1977 – Scott Dann, 1988 – Chris Galya, 1979 – Kobe Bryant, 1990 – Seth Curry