Holy Flying rhinoceros!
Walking through the jungle, you hear a weird noise and you look up. A helicopter is flying through the air, with a full-grown black rhinoceros hanging upside down by its legs underneath the plane. This is part of the latest effort to protect Namibia’s endangered real-life unicorns. The Rhino’s live under constant threat from unscrupulous poachers. The criminals hunt rhinos for their horns. To try to protect the animals, conservationists often have to move the rhinos to more remote areas, which aren’t as accessible to poachers. An adult rhino weighs about 4,000-5,000 pounds and these temperamental, stubborn giants aren’t willing to migrate over vast distances on their own. That’s where the helicopters come in. Airlifting the rhinos lets conservationists relocate them to areas where land-based vehicles have no business going to. The process of moving the animal begins by knocking it out with rhino-grade tranquilizing opioids. Unconscious Rhino’s breath better flying upside down.
Horny humor
Pretend you’re in a jungle, what do you do if a Rhinoceros is chasing you and getting closer and closer?
Stop pretending.
What do you call a drunk white rhino?
A wino albino rhino.
After the Russian election Putin meets with his staff:
Staff: “Sir Comrade Vlad, we have got good news and bad news for you.”
Putin: “I’m not scared of bad news, I’ve wrestled bears, tigers and a small rhino with my bare Russian hands. Hit me!”
Staff: “Your opponent got 51% of the votes.”
Putin: “That is terrible news! What can be the good news?”
Staff: “You got 52%..”
What do you get when you mix a rhino and a dog?
A very frightened mailman.
April 12th Birthdays
1980 – Jennifer Morrison, 1995 – Soaorise Ronan, 1974 – Christina Moore, 1980 – Claire Danes
1947 – David Letterman 1948- James Taylor, 1946 – Ed O’Neill, 1956 – Andy Garcia
Morning Motivator
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, It’s a…