Bearly Legal

Berkely was an orphan girl that had come in from the United States. She was a regular at the Discovery Wildlife Park, located about 70 miles north of Calgary. Berkely and the crew from Discovery made the international news, not from the commercials she and her friends had been in, but because of a misunderstanding at the local Dairy Queen. Berkely was photographed hanging out the side window of a company pickup truck eating an ice cream cone. Most folks would have just driven by except the store was not open yet and Berkely had a chain around her neck to keep her in the truck. What really stopped traffic though was that Berkely is a Kodiak bear.  She liked the cone so much she got the top from an ice cream cake as well. It was not all sweetness and light though, because the ever vigilant “Alberta Fish and Wildlife” saw the picture and cited the park for having a bear on the loose without warning them.  The zoo’s owner, Doug Bos, said he planned to plead guilty to the charges, noting that this was the first time in the zoo’s 28-year history that it was facing such charges. He emphasized the difference between bears in the wild and the zoo’s bears, describing those in the facility as hand-raised and well-trained. “We’ve done lots of TV commercials, Super Bowl commercials with bears and food … In some of them the bear was in a grocery store and wandered up and down the aisles.” Alberta Wildlife has promised to keep the bears on a shorter chain or in a crate during their outings.

Dairy Queenly Humor

Bowing to a request from health advocates. Dairy Queen will replace sugary drinks with Ice Cream in all kid’s meals.

A Dairy Queen spokesperson revealed that a filibuster is not one of their new ice cream treats.

What’s the motto of an ice cream shop in paradise?
Heaven ice day. 

“Ben & Jerry’s ice cream wants to make a flavor inspired by Bernie Sanders. Whatever flavor it winds up being, we know Bernie will hate it for being too rich.” 

I woke up this morning and saw two birds sitting in the sun in my backyard, eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.

December 21st Birthdays

1953 – Tina Brown, 1954 – Chris Evert, 1974 – Karrie Webb, 1983 – Mahira Khan

1957 – Ray Romano, 1940 – Frank Zappa, 1966 – Kiefer Sutherland, 1983 – Steven Yeun

Morning Motivator:

Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong.

May I have another, before the game warden comes?

Watch a clean licker: