Rat school is in session as fed-up New Yorkers try to learn how to deal with a surging rodent population. Rats as big as bunnies are roaming the streets in broad daylight, nesting in trees and chewing through car engine wires that can cost thousands to fix. Complaints about rats to the 311 hotline have totaled 12,632 so far this year. The city Health Department sponsored the latest incarnation of “Rat Academy,” two hours of rat prevention training livestreamed Tuesday to nearly four dozen supers, tenants and homeowners. The city began such training sessions about 10 years ago. Not a day goes by that Amanda Levine doesn’t see at least one rat. She sprays her Jeep Grand Cherokee with a cocktail of cinnamon and mint oils and water under the hood and on all four wheels to ward off the critters. In her apartment complex, at 107th Street between Amsterdam and Broadway, her neighbors tell her they hear scratching behind the walls. Levine ticks off four reasons why she thinks rats have invaded the UWS: outdoor dining, more homeless New Yorkers, shoddy street cleaning and the biggest — trash not being picked up often enough, both from the cans on sidewalk corners and the stacks of bags hauled to the curb by building supers. “You used to see the rats … on the tracks,” she said. “Now they are literally part of the neighborhood. They should pay rent.”
The rats of New York City have been put on notice. There will soon be a new sheriff in town. Mayor Eric Adams’ office is seeking a “director of rodent mitigation” – or rat tsar, as many are calling it – to fight the Big Apple’s “real enemy.” “The ideal candidate is highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty,” the irreverent job advert posted this week reads. Whoever is chosen for the role could be paid up to $170,000. It is described as “a 24/7 job requiring stamina and stagecraft” for city residents with a “swashbuckling attitude, crafty humor and general aura of badassery.” There are an estimated two million rats crawling through the city’s streets and subways, or about one for every four New Yorkers. The survey puts New York City in third place for the most rodent sightings in large US metro regions. Ahead of the city that never sleeps in the ratty ratings are Boston and Philadelphia.
After a full day’s work, A bus or subway car is the perfect place for some to doze off. An interesting encounter recently happened to a passenger traveling on New York’s subway. In the 22-second clip below, a rat appears out of nowhere and starts climbing the legs of a passenger who is fast asleep and unaware of what’s happening. The rat then goes on to sniff his hand and moves all over his shoulders. When the rodent climbs on the man’s neck, he feels some movement and wakes up from his nap. When he sees the rodent on his body, he appears to be a little shocked, but then he calmly stands up and removes the rat from his body. A section of users was shocked to see the man’s calm demeanor. One user said, “Oh yea. They are everywhere, but this guy – he is the picture of calm when he realizes the rat. Who wouldn’t scream and jump and lose it in this situation?”
A drunk man boards a subway and sits next to a priest. The priest is disgusted to see his miserable condition and says, “You are going to hell.” The drunk guy looks up frightened and says, “Damn, I got on the wrong train again.”
“’Is everyone in the subway car?” asked the driver before he closed the door. ‘No,’ called a lady, ‘wait until I get my clothes on.’ All the passengers in the car turned towards the door to look at the woman. She got on with a bag full of laundry.
Death must be really boring for subway drivers.
A light at the end of the tunnel is just a regular workday.
I was sitting on the subway next to a fat guy and it got me thinking…
So I turned to him and asked “How can you let yourself get so fat? Isn’t it hard to put that much weight on?”
“Nah, piece of cake.”
February 6th Birthdays
1990 – Gemma Forsyth, 1986 – Crystal Reed, 1999 – Aviva Mongillo, 1917 – Zsa Zsa Gabor
1911 – Ronald Reagan, 1890 – Babe Ruth, 1986 – Kris Humphries, 1939 – Mike Farrell