Germany’s Radioactive Pigs

While Germany is running out of electricity, they still are glowing.  In the forests of Germany’s southern states and Austria, irate radioactive boars are wreaking havoc. The hogs don’t exactly glow in the dark, they’re not harmless, either. They’re infused with so much radioactive material that eating their meat would be a pretty bad idea. These exciting boars (wild pigs) are native to Germany. While they currently are attacking towns and some settlements raiding their garbage and feed-lots the animals have been around “forever,” there are just more than ever. It is estimated that over two million wild boar roam Germany and Austria, frequently wreaking havoc on the local wildlife, destroying crops and causing thousands of car accidents each year across central Europe.  The pigs are largely protected from hunters due to their radioactivity, you can’t eat them and mounting them may be questionable. But those southern Boars are the worst because in addition to being prodigious reproducers they have a body chemistry matched with their appetite that makes them radiation collectors.

Scientists have known for years that a dangerously radioactive wild boar population roams around the woods in southern Germany.  The easy answer was to blame the games that burned up the Russian Chernobyl nuclear plant in Ukraine. But that disaster gave off cesium-137. Its levels in other wildlife in southern Germany have been steadily dropping over the years. A recent study found that breathless glow behind the radioactive boars is good old-fashioned nuclear bombs. While above ground nuclear weapons testing stopped decades ago; Tests performed on the boars’ meat showed that the beasts’ flesh contains high levels of cesium-135. This much longer-lasting cesium isotope is typically produced by exploding nuclear weapons. The cesium-135 originated from atmospheric nuclear tests conducted all around the world, from the U.S. to the Soviet Union and elsewhere. Each nuclear explosion sent clouds of radioactive material into the Earth’s atmosphere.

The cesium-135 particles descended into Germany’s forest, where truffle mushrooms in the ground sucked them up in increasing amounts. Truffles are the boar’s favorite food. Achtung! We got radioactive pigs rooting through our forests and then our garbage. Researchers are warning people that the boars might become so dependent on eating human trash that they forget how to forage in the wild. That would bring more mushroom radiation to the folks. Just think about it.

“You would you not only be getting glowing reports from Chernobyl.”

Glowing Porcine reports

If you wear a radioactive belt…
…you end up with nuclear waist.

Did you hear about the superhero who was bitten by a radioactive lawyer?
He got the power of attorney.

A radioactive leak in China has thrown the country’s wildlife into chaos.
Apparently, the isotope is absolute panda-monium.

I wish I could get bitten by a radioactive confident person.

September 7th Birthdays

1973 – Shannon Elizabeth, 1969 – Angie Everhart, 1991 – Jennifer Veal, 1860 – Grandma Moses

1936 – Buddy Holly,  1988 – Kevin Love, 1970 – Tom Everett Scott, 1967 – Toby Jones

Morning Motivator:

“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”- Thomas Edison

Don’t eat that!