Burglary is just not what it used to be

It is just not fair to the folks that live by old fashioned sleuth and skill. A thief broke into a residential Chinese apartment late at night entering from the open balcony. The thief stole several valuable items from the house. There were lots of mosquitoes in the apartment and they feasted on the burglar’s blood. While investigating the case, police found that two dead mosquitoes and blood stains on the living room wall were fresh. The police then suspected that the two blood stains had been left by the suspect, so they collected the blood samples and sent them for DNA testing against their records. The DNA sample matched with that of a known criminal, Chai. After being questioned, Chai confessed to the break-in and four other burglaries. According to statistics from Chongqing police, in recent years, more than 10 per cent of criminal cases solved by them have relied on DNA technology for crucial evidence.

In France, burglars rummaged through a trailer that was parked outside a house and got away with stolen goods in a couple of cars belonging to the owners. As they returned home, the victim couple discovered the burglary, but felt relieved that their cat was safely left behind. But then they also remembered that their cat’s collar that had a GPS device was in one of their stolen cars. They quickly reported the incident to the police and told police how to track the collar. The police were able to locate one of the two stolen cars at a motel in a nearby village. There, they were able to retrieve ninety percent of the stolen belongings, along with the cat’s collar. During the court appearance, the perp who had a long rap sheet denied the burglary, but a neighbor had seen him at the crime scene while she was walking her dog.

Grant M. Simonson may have been the victim of public schools. One night a few days ago he set off a silent alarm inside a closed Portland, OR church. The church system had a live video feed that police could tune into when they arrived on scene. So they watched as poor Grant skulked around the murky building with a mask and a flashlight casing the audio equipment for potential profitable reselling. When Grant decided to come back out through the open window deputies greeted him.  Officers advised the suspect to show his hands and get on the ground. Simonson told them he was “wide awake and bored,” so he went for a bike ride in the middle of the night, noticed the open church window, and went inside because he was “curious.” Deputies read him his rights and as “He began to follow the commands when suddenly a skunk came running around the corner, approached Simonson, and released its well-known and malodorous spray before fleeing the area,” the sheriff’s office said. Simonson was arrested for second degree burglary. The skunk’s whereabouts are unknown, but Grant was a big hit at the jail. According to the sheriff’s office, “the skunk is a wild animal and not affiliated with law enforcement or the church.” Some days it just seems even God is against you.

Bungling Burglars

A man who had been hiding inside a Home Depot store until it closed suddenly appeared and at gunpoint hustled all the employees into an office and locked the door. He then opened the exit door and walked outside to give his partner the all clear sign. Of course he didn’t notice the sign that said “All doors lock automatically” on the outside of the back door. Try as he might, he could not get back into the store.  

So I bought a burglar alarm.
Now my burglar has no excuse to oversleep.

I work at a store that was burglarized.
An investigating officer asked me where I was between 5 and 6.
He didn’t seem pleased when I answered: “Kindergarten.”

Burglars are getting cleverer, my wife woke me up in the middle of the night “I think there is somebody downstairs” she said. So I got up and went downstairs and checked every room.
Then I realized I wasn’t married….

August 12th Birthdays

1985 – Miriam Rivera, 1997 – Tori Webster, 1994 – Imani Hakim, 1989 – Leah Pipes

1971 – Pete Sampras, 1976 – Casey Affleck, 1939 – George Hamilton, 1999 – Rudy Pankow

Morning Motivator:

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

Crime does smell